Life in Kalamazoo is delightful these days. The sun is shining more often. The birds are singing. Flowers are blooming in our yard despite my need to make a quick early morning dash to the garage in shorts and a down coat. The quick dash is for two reasons: the early morning chill that is still present in it's awkward spring time way AND as an attempt to get to pilates without feeling too guilty about being many minutes late, yet again. It's a biweekly act in having compassion for myself and accepting that I will always be hopeless just barely on time if not late. It is my burden and I bare it with reflective dignity. Life could have worse difficulties and it sometimes does.
Today, I am [anxiously--but don't tell my sister-in-law Amy this] awaiting the arrival of the latest member to the McKenna clan. My nephew Leo will be coming soon, hopefully it will be sooner than not. I am really excited about this little guy. I LOVE babies and all their potential. This morning I wonder how much influence I, as his aunt might have on his life and how little things that I might say to him someday may change his life forever. I have an uncle like that. It's not so much that I talk to him every day. In fact, I've only seen him a few times in my life but he conducts himself in his everyday life in such a way that inspires me to be a better person. I hope that the choices that I make daily might inspire the little people in my life. Even if those choices mean that I'm able to take the 45 minutes that I had intended on getting up early to prepare for my day but use those minutes instead to lay in bed reading a guilty pleasure book. The act of not allowing my guilt for being late [which is ever present] ... again... to consume me and to live compassionately to myself first and to the others around me second, is the act that I hope my children and my nieces and future nephew can learn from me. It's taken me a long time to develop this skill and I hope they might be able to acquire it sooner than I have.
Mercy. Mercy me.
The way you write things comes out wonderful!Let me know when Leo is here, want a pic of you and him together!
Posted by: Sonya | March 31, 2010 at 09:40 AM